Yes, I realize that the blog has been silent for the past month, but things have been ridonkulously busy. Not only have I been getting used to living in the States, but I've had to get used to teaching again, meeting up with friends and living on a air mattress. A blog detailing the shenanigans of the past month is forthcoming, but I am gonna stick with the past for a few blogs more. I hope you don't mind, but it's my way of pretending I still live in Europe...
Sooooo.... I have a confession to make. Elliot and I never went to San Sebastian and the north of Spain for Christmas. We never took the train to Barcelona. We never rented a car and drove along the coast. We never did any of that. I'm not going to go into details over WHY we didn't tell people where we were really going, but it wasn't in Spain. My apologies for telling a bold-faced lie to so many people, but trust that we had good reasons for it. Any way, Elliot and I went to two different places over Christmas break, my Viking's homeland: Oslo, Norway and the homeland of my gal Gools: Krakow, Poland.
Because it was December, plane tickets to Oslo were only $33 each way. The price isn't all that surprising when you consider that no one in their right damn mind would intentionally visit Norway in December.... unless they were Norwegian. Freeze babies like myself turn popsicle pretty quickly, and I can't imagine the Spanish taking a jaunt up to Norway for their Navidad.
The Norwegians on our flight out of Malaga quickly established themselves with how quickly the check-in line went. The Spanish tend to have 80 minute conversations with the flight agents about the meaning of life, their bowel regularity and God knows whatever else. You have to get to the airport exceptionally early if you're flying Iberia, as the Spanish are most likely discussing their BM's with flaying arms and loud volume. The 4 hour flight to Oslo was like something out of the Twilight zone, with children screaming and standing on top of the seats the entire flight. I felt my womb shrivel just a little bit that flight. At first, I didn't think the flight would be too bad b/c the Duty Free zone in the airport sold Crispy M&M's! They hadn't sold those in the States since the early aughts, and sadly those were my favorites. I didn't even care that the bag cost 7.95 euros; I was going to have my Crispy M&M's! I took one bite into the glorious candy coated shell and realized..... that they tasted like crap. Excitement and heart broken.
We landed in a snowy and Christmasy Rygge, Norway and boarded an hour long bus to Oslo city center. The city was covered in snow and decked out in Christmas lights, like a sight out of "The Night Before Christmas". Just down the street from our hotel was an ice skating rink where Norwegians young and old enjoyed the snowy atmosphere. I was expecting everyone on that patch of ice to be zipping around, doing triple axles and shooting hockey pucks out with their farts, but they were a lot shakier than I had expected. So much for born hockey players...
Along the main square where the rink was located was a small Christmas market that had already closed for the night. It was like something out of the movie Prancer, with small wooden stalls that looked all sorts of adorable even when closed. El and I strolled around for a bit before finding an Indian restaurant that was recommended by the front desk at our hotel. The food was pretty decent, and we had an appetizer, some garlic naan, an entree apiece and 1 beer each. Nothing too fancy. I had to laugh b/c there was an Indian poster on the wall next to our table with a big "IKEA" sticker on it. We stopped laughing when we got our check, because although the food was good, and this was supposedly a cheap restaurant, after the exchange rate our dinner cost 140 euros. Oslo is one of the most expensive cities in the world, and Norway has its own currency, the Krone. Every 100 Krone is about 14 euros, and nothing is cheaper than 100 Krone. If you're looking for a cheap vacay, Oslo should not be your destination. We had a beer at a nearby sportsman's pub, which I suspect was a actually a gay club for bears, before heading back to our hotel and crashing.
The hotel we stayed at was decent and included breakfast in the AM, which is always clutch. Elliot must've been in touch with his roots, because as we were about to head to bed, he wanted to crack a window. While the cold wind was blowing and snow was felling. It'd be a hot day in Oslo b/4 I'd let that happen. The next morning we woke up around 9 to start exploring, and we quickly discovered that the city was a ghost town. Ignoring the fact that it was a Sunday, there was NO ONE on the road. At 9:15, it was still dark out, and we quickly surmised that people would only be on the streets and stores open when it was light out, which during the time of year we went, would only be from around 10am until 3pm. Even when we passed a store filled with Nordic traditional outfits, their store hours were only from 2pm-6pm that day.
At first, we walked along the harbor of the Oslo fjord and found the Nobel Peace Prize Center, which was pretty cool to see. The weather was incredibly cold by our Spanish standards (in the low 20's), and there were these HUGE mutant seagulls flying around. After trying to find the Viking Ship Museum on our own for about 20 minutes, we finally gave up and hailed a cab. To go the whole mile and a half cost over 30 euros...
The museum was on an island in the middle of nowhere, and we got nervous at first that it wasn't open b/c the parking lot was so deserted. We read that a bus would come every 20 minutes or so to go back to the city center, but the museum was really in a desolate location. Fortunately for us, the museum was open and it was practically empty. When you walk in, you are immediately greeted by the restored Viking ship in the main, dimly lit hall. On either side of the ship were wall panels that told the visitor the story of the ship's history, discovery and restoration. It really blew our minds how well preserved the entire ship was. The main hall branched into three additional wings, one that contained artifacts found on the ships, another with a ship whose deck was the only thing to survive and a third with another, larger, well-preserved ship. The ships were elaborately carved and even had their iron nails still in them. The ships were buried in mounds, much like the ships at Sutton Hoo, so they were incredibly preserved along with their artifacts. It was really amazing to see them up close and personal, and we were blown away by the condition of the ships themselves.
It was snowing when we left, but the bus back to the city showed up right as we left, so we didn't get stuck in it. The bus dropped us off by the Oslo Opera House, supposedly a modern marvel of architecture and on the "must see" list for Oslo. The building was interesting, but without an actual opera going on, it wasn't all that fantastic. The best part was having our picture taken (by an American couple randomly stationed in Germany) in the ballet dancers' cut-out. Somehow our faces fit the cut outs perfectly. Maybe we're meant to be dancers...
We stopped by the nearby bus terminal and had a hot chocolate and coffee and some delicious Norse carrot cake. We hadn't seen souvenir shops while walking around (at least any that were open), so we stopped in one and picked out some Vikings souvenirs. Elliot bought this t-shirt that looked like it only had a Viking's silhouette on a black t-shirt, but when he opened it back in Spain it had this whole "Viking Code" on the back. It makes him look like such a nerd when he wears it. I love it. I bought some gloves that had the Norwegian flag on them, so I told the guy cashing us out that he didn't need to put them in the bag. He had already rung us up and didn't realize that he had put gloves in there. When I insisted that he ring us up for the gloves, he was like "No, it's okay. It's a Christmas gift from Norway! Besides, they're only 100 Krone (14 euros), and you can't buy anything in Oslo for 100 Krone. " Thank you sir, for the gift and depressing reminder.
Munch's The Scream is in the National Gallery, so Elliot and I walked over there next. Since it was the third Sunday of the month, the museum was supposed to be free that day. Unfortunately for us, the door was barred and a small typed note on the door said that the National Gallery was closed for the day. Son of a.... With our cultural plans having to take a back burner, we strolled through the cute Christmas village in the Main Square and enjoyed the sights. People were decked out in Nordic wool sweaters GALORE, and stalls sold everything from jams to calendars to sweaters to rabbit skins. There was one large tent that had heat lamps inside, so we gave ourselves a break from the cold to check out their wares. The tent was decorated with Christmas items and country music (random) was playing throughout the tent. We picked up some juniper wood utensils to go with our cheeseboard from Finland, the total probably exchanging to like $5,000,000.
Outside the tent people were sitting by the fire and eating candied apples and drinking hot chocolate. We picked up some Norwegian sweaters that were marked wayyy down (it was the last day of the market) and took pictures with the REINDEER that were just hanging out beside a stall. Reindeer! 2 days before Christmas! Could it GET anymore Christmasy??! :D
We grabbed sandwiches and drinks at a deli similar to a 7-11, and that ended up being our cheapest meal in Oslo... for 30 euros. After lunch, we watched the rest of The Santa Clause on Norwegian tv and took a snooze. When we woke up around 4, it was already pitch black out. All the stores were already closed down, so we began a quest to find a bar that played NFL football. We stopped at a bar called The Scotsman (no, not the cougar bar), but all to be found were soccer games. We did, however, have a Brooklyn IPA there, which is always delicious. We figured our best bet was TGI Friday's (hey, we were desperate), so we ordered some apps before we would head to the restaurant bar to see if the game was on. Our time there didn't last long, however, when we overheard the waiter tell the table next to us that it was 20 minutes from last call. It was 6:00pm. Beaten but not broken, we tried nearby O'Leary's, only to be told that the bar closed at 8:00pm. Clearly, we were in an alternate universe.
We picked up some more sweaters for our parents, tried to get an Elkburger for dinner (the stall serving them was already closed), and strolled away from the Main Square down the little, light-strewn, streets branching out. We passed by impressive stone statues and a beautiful old church (that was... shocker... closed), before having a Christmas Ale at a British pub called Winston's. It reminded me of the neighborhood pub we had a drink at before the Arsenal game in London: old furniture, a warm fire, soccer on tv and vintage furniture that looked like it hadn't been dusted in months. We loved it. Instead of having an elk burger, we stopped at a burger chain called Max Burger and got some greasy, gross food that would have to tide us over. While we were walking back to the hotel, we passed the Sportsman's Pub, and some guy standing outside told us to come back after we ate and watch darts with the guys there. I think he meant just Elliot... We ate back at the hotel while watching the NFL on a laptop, before hitting the hay early for our 3am wake up call... Krakow was calling....
Sooooo.... I have a confession to make. Elliot and I never went to San Sebastian and the north of Spain for Christmas. We never took the train to Barcelona. We never rented a car and drove along the coast. We never did any of that. I'm not going to go into details over WHY we didn't tell people where we were really going, but it wasn't in Spain. My apologies for telling a bold-faced lie to so many people, but trust that we had good reasons for it. Any way, Elliot and I went to two different places over Christmas break, my Viking's homeland: Oslo, Norway and the homeland of my gal Gools: Krakow, Poland.
Because it was December, plane tickets to Oslo were only $33 each way. The price isn't all that surprising when you consider that no one in their right damn mind would intentionally visit Norway in December.... unless they were Norwegian. Freeze babies like myself turn popsicle pretty quickly, and I can't imagine the Spanish taking a jaunt up to Norway for their Navidad.
The Norwegians on our flight out of Malaga quickly established themselves with how quickly the check-in line went. The Spanish tend to have 80 minute conversations with the flight agents about the meaning of life, their bowel regularity and God knows whatever else. You have to get to the airport exceptionally early if you're flying Iberia, as the Spanish are most likely discussing their BM's with flaying arms and loud volume. The 4 hour flight to Oslo was like something out of the Twilight zone, with children screaming and standing on top of the seats the entire flight. I felt my womb shrivel just a little bit that flight. At first, I didn't think the flight would be too bad b/c the Duty Free zone in the airport sold Crispy M&M's! They hadn't sold those in the States since the early aughts, and sadly those were my favorites. I didn't even care that the bag cost 7.95 euros; I was going to have my Crispy M&M's! I took one bite into the glorious candy coated shell and realized..... that they tasted like crap. Excitement and heart broken.
We landed in a snowy and Christmasy Rygge, Norway and boarded an hour long bus to Oslo city center. The city was covered in snow and decked out in Christmas lights, like a sight out of "The Night Before Christmas". Just down the street from our hotel was an ice skating rink where Norwegians young and old enjoyed the snowy atmosphere. I was expecting everyone on that patch of ice to be zipping around, doing triple axles and shooting hockey pucks out with their farts, but they were a lot shakier than I had expected. So much for born hockey players...
Along the main square where the rink was located was a small Christmas market that had already closed for the night. It was like something out of the movie Prancer, with small wooden stalls that looked all sorts of adorable even when closed. El and I strolled around for a bit before finding an Indian restaurant that was recommended by the front desk at our hotel. The food was pretty decent, and we had an appetizer, some garlic naan, an entree apiece and 1 beer each. Nothing too fancy. I had to laugh b/c there was an Indian poster on the wall next to our table with a big "IKEA" sticker on it. We stopped laughing when we got our check, because although the food was good, and this was supposedly a cheap restaurant, after the exchange rate our dinner cost 140 euros. Oslo is one of the most expensive cities in the world, and Norway has its own currency, the Krone. Every 100 Krone is about 14 euros, and nothing is cheaper than 100 Krone. If you're looking for a cheap vacay, Oslo should not be your destination. We had a beer at a nearby sportsman's pub, which I suspect was a actually a gay club for bears, before heading back to our hotel and crashing.
The hotel we stayed at was decent and included breakfast in the AM, which is always clutch. Elliot must've been in touch with his roots, because as we were about to head to bed, he wanted to crack a window. While the cold wind was blowing and snow was felling. It'd be a hot day in Oslo b/4 I'd let that happen. The next morning we woke up around 9 to start exploring, and we quickly discovered that the city was a ghost town. Ignoring the fact that it was a Sunday, there was NO ONE on the road. At 9:15, it was still dark out, and we quickly surmised that people would only be on the streets and stores open when it was light out, which during the time of year we went, would only be from around 10am until 3pm. Even when we passed a store filled with Nordic traditional outfits, their store hours were only from 2pm-6pm that day.
At first, we walked along the harbor of the Oslo fjord and found the Nobel Peace Prize Center, which was pretty cool to see. The weather was incredibly cold by our Spanish standards (in the low 20's), and there were these HUGE mutant seagulls flying around. After trying to find the Viking Ship Museum on our own for about 20 minutes, we finally gave up and hailed a cab. To go the whole mile and a half cost over 30 euros...
The museum was on an island in the middle of nowhere, and we got nervous at first that it wasn't open b/c the parking lot was so deserted. We read that a bus would come every 20 minutes or so to go back to the city center, but the museum was really in a desolate location. Fortunately for us, the museum was open and it was practically empty. When you walk in, you are immediately greeted by the restored Viking ship in the main, dimly lit hall. On either side of the ship were wall panels that told the visitor the story of the ship's history, discovery and restoration. It really blew our minds how well preserved the entire ship was. The main hall branched into three additional wings, one that contained artifacts found on the ships, another with a ship whose deck was the only thing to survive and a third with another, larger, well-preserved ship. The ships were elaborately carved and even had their iron nails still in them. The ships were buried in mounds, much like the ships at Sutton Hoo, so they were incredibly preserved along with their artifacts. It was really amazing to see them up close and personal, and we were blown away by the condition of the ships themselves.
 |
| Skol, Yo |
 |
| Tra and la! |
Munch's The Scream is in the National Gallery, so Elliot and I walked over there next. Since it was the third Sunday of the month, the museum was supposed to be free that day. Unfortunately for us, the door was barred and a small typed note on the door said that the National Gallery was closed for the day. Son of a.... With our cultural plans having to take a back burner, we strolled through the cute Christmas village in the Main Square and enjoyed the sights. People were decked out in Nordic wool sweaters GALORE, and stalls sold everything from jams to calendars to sweaters to rabbit skins. There was one large tent that had heat lamps inside, so we gave ourselves a break from the cold to check out their wares. The tent was decorated with Christmas items and country music (random) was playing throughout the tent. We picked up some juniper wood utensils to go with our cheeseboard from Finland, the total probably exchanging to like $5,000,000.
Outside the tent people were sitting by the fire and eating candied apples and drinking hot chocolate. We picked up some Norwegian sweaters that were marked wayyy down (it was the last day of the market) and took pictures with the REINDEER that were just hanging out beside a stall. Reindeer! 2 days before Christmas! Could it GET anymore Christmasy??! :D
We grabbed sandwiches and drinks at a deli similar to a 7-11, and that ended up being our cheapest meal in Oslo... for 30 euros. After lunch, we watched the rest of The Santa Clause on Norwegian tv and took a snooze. When we woke up around 4, it was already pitch black out. All the stores were already closed down, so we began a quest to find a bar that played NFL football. We stopped at a bar called The Scotsman (no, not the cougar bar), but all to be found were soccer games. We did, however, have a Brooklyn IPA there, which is always delicious. We figured our best bet was TGI Friday's (hey, we were desperate), so we ordered some apps before we would head to the restaurant bar to see if the game was on. Our time there didn't last long, however, when we overheard the waiter tell the table next to us that it was 20 minutes from last call. It was 6:00pm. Beaten but not broken, we tried nearby O'Leary's, only to be told that the bar closed at 8:00pm. Clearly, we were in an alternate universe.
We picked up some more sweaters for our parents, tried to get an Elkburger for dinner (the stall serving them was already closed), and strolled away from the Main Square down the little, light-strewn, streets branching out. We passed by impressive stone statues and a beautiful old church (that was... shocker... closed), before having a Christmas Ale at a British pub called Winston's. It reminded me of the neighborhood pub we had a drink at before the Arsenal game in London: old furniture, a warm fire, soccer on tv and vintage furniture that looked like it hadn't been dusted in months. We loved it. Instead of having an elk burger, we stopped at a burger chain called Max Burger and got some greasy, gross food that would have to tide us over. While we were walking back to the hotel, we passed the Sportsman's Pub, and some guy standing outside told us to come back after we ate and watch darts with the guys there. I think he meant just Elliot... We ate back at the hotel while watching the NFL on a laptop, before hitting the hay early for our 3am wake up call... Krakow was calling....
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